Broken
by Traci
Summary: Postep 'Smile'.  Picks up the second ‘Smile’ ended after ‘that’ line. BA friendship repair.


Disclaimer: Not mine. And I am still holding on to hope the Dick Wolf is channeling Chris Carter – trying to hold onto the faith that he's NOT going to mess up the Goren and Eames dynamic. I'm watching you, Mr. Wolf!!

Rating: K

Category: Post-Ep for 'Smile'. BA friendship repair.

Spoilers: Up to season 4's 'Smile'.

Author: Traci

Summary: Picks up the second 'Smile' ended after 'that' line.

* * *

**Broken**

* * *

Bobby Goren stood in the office staring after his partner as she walked away. Had she really said what he thought she did? More importantly, had she really said it without sarcasm? He thought their partnership was back on track after a year of being 'off'. He thought they were finally, truly, alright.

"Alex?" he called after her, but she kept on walking.

He caught up to her at the SUV. She was already seated behind the wheel with the car running when he got in. "Eam…"

Alex held up her hand. "Not now, Bobby."

Feeling like a scolded child, he merely nodded and hung his head.

* * *

Alex sighed as she shut the door behind her. Home at last. Home. She gave a dry chuckle. Whom was she kidding? It had not felt like home since the night… the night Joe died.

Placing her bag by the door, she yawned and turned on the hall light. What was she trying to hold onto? The memories of a life she once had? The hopes and dreams of a life she could have had? Nine years was a long time to hold onto a ghost. Mostly it had not bothered her. Only in the past year or so had Joe's death, and everything it had taken with him, really hit her.

Slamming her fist against the wall, she yelped and held her now throbbing hand. She had been there for Bobby through everything. She had stood up for him, supported him, offered her friendship and what had he done? Nothing. It was always about him and his feelings. She was always the one trying to make him feel better about himself – to lift him out of his self-induced guilt trips. Never once had he so much as asked if she was okay if it wasn't about him.

He had dredged up the past for her. He had unceremoniously delved into her private life, her husband's life, and had not even consulted her. He had treated her and her life as if it were just another day on the job for him.

She kicked the doorframe. For all the times she had called him after he visited his mother, for all the times she had missed out on sleep to listen to him cry on the phone at three in the morning, the very least he could have done was recognize she was not okay, even if she said she was.

* * *

Bobby sat in the darkness of his apartment thinking. Thinking about what Eames, no, Alex, had said. Had she meant it? Was she regretting the years she'd spent as his partner? He certainly would not blame her. What had he missed? Was there some sign she had given him that things were not alright? He had, in his own way, apologized to her for the way he treated her during his mother's illness at Kevin's funeral. He had given her space when she went to look at the evidence in Joe's murder. He could have put the call off for a short time, but he didn't want to intrude on…

He buried his face in his hands as it dawned on him.

* * *

She glanced at the clock next to the bed and groaned. She knew it would be Bobby. She knew it would be something else about him and his life and she really didn't want to deal with it. Rolling over, she tried to ignore the knocking.

Throwing the pillow on the floor, she grabbed her robe and stomped to the front door, swinging it open violently. "What?!" she growled.

Bobby took a literal step back then recomposed. "I'm sorry, Alex," he softly said. "I'm sorry for being such a selfish jerk."

She stood staring at him.

"I was sitting at home trying to think of what I did to make you say what you did earlier and if finally hit me. You've always been there for me. You've always listened to me. You've always put me ahead of you and… I… I've never done that for you. Not verbally. Not in ways that you would know. You are always the strong, stable one so when… when you are hurting or upset or confused I… I don't know what to do or how to react other than to make it about me. I… I'm not a good friend. I'm not a good partner. And I am truly sorry." He sighed. "Even my rambling makes it sound like it's about me."

Alex was still standing and staring.

Taking it as a hint to leave, Bobby swallowed hard. "You deserve better but if you want… to talk about Joe or… anything, I'm here." He cautiously stepped around her into her house. "And… you're stuck with me. I'm not going anywhere."

She turned to face him. "You think one rehearsed speech is going to make everything alright?" she spat.

"N…no, of course not. Alex, I don't know what to do. I've never had anyone care and not run away and I'm not sure how to handle it. I do… know that I have to… to work to earn your trust back. And believe me, I will work hard. What… what you and I have is too… special to be lost because of my selfishness."

"It's not going to be easy," she warned him a little gentler.

"I… I know that. And I'm going to mess up – a lot."

Alex thought for a moment. "It's two-thirty in the morning. Let me think about what you said and… I'll let you know tomorrow."

* * *

Bobby looked at the wall clock for the tenth time in as many minutes. Alex was never late. It was not a good sign. Another twenty minutes passed before he accepted defeat. She had thought about what he said and he had lost her for good.

Taking a deep breath, he dove into the pile of paperwork, interrupted only when Ross informed him that Alex had called out sick.

* * *

Unlocking his door, Bobby felt as if he'd been hit by a truck. The emotional strain had taken its toll on him.

He reached to turn on the lights but stopped. "Who's there?" he asked into the darkness.

"It's only me," came the small reply.

When he flicked on the lights, he saw Alex curled up in one corner of his couch, a blanket wrapped around her, and her eyes red from crying. In three long strides, he was kneeling before her. "What's wrong?"

"I… were you serious about what you said last night?"

"With all my heart."

"Then my answer is yes, I would like to try to repair what's been broken. Do… do you think you could start with my heart?" With that, she wrapped her arms around him and completely broke down in his arms.

"I'll do my best, Alex," he whispered, pulling her closer as he climbed up on the couch and held her close as she cried.

The End


End file.
